|
Snuff It #1 |
|
The Church Gets the Last Laugh
On Saturday, April 30, several New England anti-vivisection organizations
converged on Boston University for a march to Harvard Square. The Church of
Euthanasia was there, and the surf was definitely up. The church delegation
included pastor Kim, sister Catherine, sister Laura, brother Dennis, and of
course Rev. Korda. Though they were heavily outnumbered by the crowd of roughly
two hundred marchers, they did have the advantage of surprise. They arrived
carrying signs that read "Stop Animal Testing", "Boycott
Gillette", and "Save The Whales." The marchers had no way of
knowing that these were in fact specially constructed "trick" signs,
each consisting of an "inner" sign, concealed by an easily removable
"outer" sign. The church had correctly assumed that security would
be tight and that camouflage would be necessary. The crowd was actively
monitored by at least twenty yellow-capped members of CEASE (Citizens to End
Animal Suffering and Exploitation), many of them carrying walkie-talkies and
megaphones. The yellow caps were joined by a contingent of very silly-looking
B.U. cops in spandex tights on bicycles. After a long and completely
unintelligible speech, the crowd formed into a line and the march began.
Just outside Kenmore Square, pastor Kim broke the ice and unveiled a six foot
tall wooden cross. Four naked baby dolls with bloody fingers and mouths hung
from the crosspiece, and in the middle of the cross a small stuffed rabbit was
crucified. The nearest yellow cap immediately attached herself to pastor Kim
like a barnacle. She apparently assumed she was dealing with an isolated
lunatic, and repeatedly praised his "Save The Whales" sign, while
urging him to abandon the cross. Pastor Kim kept her at bay with an extremely
lucid and persistent explanation of church theology. Meanwhile the march
arrived in Kenmore Square, and the trick signs were uncloaked. Rev. Korda now
led the delegation, carrying the "Kill Your Fetus, Not Your Pet" sign,
followed by sister Laura carrying "Eat People Not Animals." Pastor
Kim brought up the rear with "Save The Planet, Kill Yourself" and the
carnivorous babies.
About halfway across the Mass. Ave bridge, a Boston police officer grabbed
Rev. Korda by the elbow and dragged her out of the march for questioning. The
Rev. was unable to produce any identification, as usual. She was also carrying
Mace without an FID card, and the officer was preparing to arrest her when sister
Catherine showed up with the video camera. The air was soon filled with the
sweet smell of frying bacon, and the Rev. resumed marching, now surrounded by a
rapidly growing crowd of admirers. The yellow caps were forced to do their dirty
work themselves. The march paused to demonstrate on the steps of MIT, the yellow
caps surrounded the church delegation, and a bitter confrontation ensued. The
church was finally forced out of the march, despite angry protests from many of
the marchers. Interviews in Harvard Square after the rally revealed that more
than half of the marchers had supported the church, and that they had lost all
respect for their organizers.
prev ·
index #1 ·
next
|