Foreword: Masters of Puppets
March 26 marked the start of a week-long Bio-Tech trade show and conference
called Bio 2000, held at the Hynes Convention center in downtown Boston.
On the same day, a large and well-organized demonstration / puppet show /
parade against GM (genetically modified) food was held, under the name
Bio-Devastation 2000, in neighboring Copley Square. The Church of Euthanasia
joined the demonstration, raised a giant banner that read "HUMAN EXTINCTION
WHILE WE STILL CAN," and began broadcasting anti-human messages on a portable
sound system. The demonstration's organizers responded with unanimous hostility.
Having anticipated this outcome, Rev. Korda gave a thoughtfully prepared speech,
the text of which is given below. The reaction to the speech culminated in
several acts of violence, including attempts to disable the Church's sound
system by cutting the microphone cable with a knife, pouring water into it,
and knocking it over, as well as attempts to disable Rev. Korda personally.
These attempts being only partially successful, the organizers resorted to
announcing on their (much larger and permitted) sound system that the Church
was being paid by Monsanto. Though Rev. Korda repeatedly dared them to
call for the police, who would doubtless have enforced the permit by
chasing away the Church, the organizers appeared ideologically unable to
do so, relying instead on overt physical coercion disguised as "direct action."
Evidently their much-touted pacifism was reserved for those who already agreed
with them. Most demonstrators seemed oblivious to the paradox of using a
"free-speech" activity to suppress another "free-speech" activity, held by
a minority group no less. In the demonstrator's minds, the Church was either
with them, in which case it must obey their leaders, or it was a paid agent of
the police or Monsanto. The notion that the Church could be reluctantly
supporting bio-tech, for its potential to destroy human food supplies before
we irreversibly damage earth's atmosphere, was completely beyond them.
The Bio 2000 Speech
You are engaged in sanctioned dissent activities. The appearance of dissent
is critical to the smooth functioning of a modern industrial society. Please
engage in the following activities: Display provocative signs and banners.
Shout angry slogans. March through the streets. Circulate petitions.
Distribute pamphlets and other literature. Confront passing consumers and
engage them in forceful dialogue. Shake your fists at the police. Sing
rousing leftist songs. Please engage in any or all of these activities.
By engaging in these activities, you are maintaining the illusion that we
live in a free society.
In fact we are only free to consume the various products that are marketed
to us by industrial society. Some of these products are targeted towards
politically correct leftists. Other products are targeted towards conservatives.
No one is discriminated against. This is a free society. Everyone is welcome
here. Everyone is welcome to buy as much as they like. Short on cash?
Forgot your wallet? Not a problem. We offer plenty of credit at an attractive
interest rate. Inquire for details. Buy. Buy more. Buy now.
Please continue to protest in an orderly manner. This is pleasing to the
authorities. Keep your signs banners held high, so that passerby and police
can read them. Annunciate clearly when chanting slogans. This will make
it easier for others to understand you. If you communicate effectively,
everyone will benefit. You are fulfilling a valuable social role by engaging
in these condoned dissent activities. Rise to the occasion. Do your best
to fulfil your responsibilities. Hold your signs and banners high. When
chanting, annunciate clearly. When singing leftist songs, sing on key whenever
Copley Square is usually a shopping intensive area. On any other day, your
credit rating would be checked by the police. Anyone not possessing a major
credit card with a sufficient available balance would be politely asked to
leave the area. Obstructing traffic clearly interferes with the acquisition
of material wealth, which is the primary purpose of the Copley Square shopping
district, and on any other day, such obstruction would certainly not be permitted.
Today is different. Today, Copley Square is a sanctioned protest area.
Today many forms of dissent are condoned in Copley Square. By engaging in
these condoned dissent activities, you help maintain the illusion that dissent
is meaningful. By participating in this charade, liberals and conservatives
alike can pat themselves on the back, and feel good about themselves. You
look fabulous. You're changing the world. Protest is fashionable. Protest
is good. Protest is good for America.
Please protect everyone's right to fool themselves, by restricting yourself
only to condoned protest activities. The following protest activities are
not approved. Do not engage in any of these activities. Do not attempt
to cross the metal barricades. Do not protest outside the designated protest
area. Do not deface buildings. Do not break windows. Do not damage property.
Do not throw rocks or other objects at the police. Do not squirt police
officers with urine. Do not trip police horses by dropping greased ball
bearings on the street. Do not overturn police vehicles or set fire to them.
Do not litter.
This is not Seattle. We are not lawless anarchists. This is Boston. Here
in Boston, when we wish to express dissent, we apply for a permit, and obtain
insurance. Dissent is serious business. Only responsible citizens have
the right to express dissent. Don't let the organizers' hard work go to
waste. Don't let a few bad apples ruin this sanctioned protest activity.
If you see a protester engaging in any unapproved activity, do the right
thing. Report the violation to the nearest police officer immediately.
The police are your friends. They are here to help you express yourself.
Help the police help you, by policing yourself. If you find yourself engaging
in lawless behavior, turn yourself in. Don't endanger your fellow protesters
by running away or hiding. Do the right thing. Turn yourself in. If you
are about to damage someone's property, turn yourself in first. Thanks to
your self-restraint, everyone else can express themselves freely, without
fear of changing society in any way. If you are having antisocial thoughts,
don't hesitate to share them with the police. They will help you help yourself,
by arresting you. Working together, with the Boston police, we can achieve
total uniformity of thought and expression. Let's all be ignored together.