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Snuff It #1 |
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Ask Chrissy
A woman shall not wear anything that pertains to man, nor shall a man wear a
woman's garment; for whoever does these things is an abomination to the lord.
-Deuteronomy 22:5
Dear Chrissy,
I want to get off this crappy planet as soon as possible. I've tried to
overdose three times now and each time my parents have caught me and had my
stomach pumped. The last time they had me committed to a mental hospital. What
am I doing wrong?
-Restrained in Richmond
Dear Restrained,
First of all, you're going to have to get yourself out of that dumpy hospital!
Do exactly what they say, take your medication, and tell your therapist whatever
he or she wants to hear. As soon as they let you out, run away. Be sure to
bring your remaining collection of pills. Head for the most remote area you can
find. Deep woods are good, abandoned industrial buildings are even better, but
make sure it's somewhere that no one will think to look. Don't forget to take the
pills on an empty stomach, or you'll be waking up in a puddle of barf. If you
want anyone to find you afterwards, mail them a letter with directions on the way
there. Better luck next time!
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