Church of Euthanasia

The One Commandment:
"Thou shalt not procreate"

The Four Pillars:
suicide · abortion
cannibalism · sodomy

Human Population:

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Snuff It #1

The State of Shit

It has been fairly well understood for some time now that matter and energy are interchangeable forms of the same thing. Or as Pastor Val is fond of saying, everything has the properties of both particles and waves. Neither can be destroyed, and it is widely believed that our universe is composed only of these two substances, perpetually changing into one another. In keeping with ancient Hindu tradition, we call the thing which matter and energy are two different forms of "shit." Shit exists as particles and waves. The universe is shit in space.

Gravity is the tendency of shit to attract shit. But how does this work, you ask? What is the mechanism? Is it a particle or a wave? Neither, smarty-pants! Gravity is a property of shit. Shit compresses and distorts dimensional space, including time. Two shits attract one another, by compressing the so-called "fabric" of dimensional space between them. This is not unheard of in physics, and is known as continuum theory.

The universe exists in an unknown number of dimensions, and is infinite in all of them. Imagine everything sliced into two-dimensional planes like a salami. Each plane is an infinite flat universe of its own. A party in our universe may keep folks awake in any number of flat universes that happen to intersect it. In addition, an hassle in a flat universe might not be a hassle in ours. Suppose a flat universe happens to intersect the great wall of China. A flat inhabitant has no choice but to go around the wall. This is referred to in the I Ching as "tough shit". But what if a flat Genghis Khan could temporarily jump into the third dimension? He could hop over the flat wall, return to his own dimension, and go waste flat Peking.

Schools teach you that we inhabit a four-dimensional universe, with time as the fourth dimension. It would be more accurate to call it a 3D universe. We can move freely only in the first three dimensions. We are bound to a fixed direction (forward) and speed (fast) in the fourth. We can only directly perceive the present. The past and the future can be thought of as an infinite number of parallel 3D universes which are forever hidden, known to us only by memory or speculation. We are in exactly the same boat as those poor flat fuckers.

If one of us could temporarily escape and move freely in the fourth dimension, seemingly insurmountable obstacles could be easily overcome. Suppose you were locked in a prison cell. You could simply move backwards or forwards in time to a point when the door was unlocked, exit the cell, and return to the time you left, free. From the point of view of the astounded guards, you would disappear into and reappear from nowhere.

In the same way that 4D reality may contain any number of distinct 3D universes frozen in time, the 5D universe contains any number of distinct 4D universes, one of which we happen to inhabit. These parallel universes all share the same shit. The Earth exists in many distinct 4D universes and is inhabited by different species in each one.

UFO author Jaques Vallee is correct in maintaining that UFOs are not green men in spaceships from Alpha Centauri. UFOs are beings capable of movement in at least five dimensions, and mostly from Earth in parallel 4D universes. They move by using gravitation to distort dimensional space, shrinking or stretching it as necessary. This concept has appeared in science fiction, and was referred to in Frank Herbert's Dune trilogy as "folding space."

Physicists generally agree that black holes exist and that they are composed of shit, with density approaching the infinite. Typical projections assume the density of thousands of suns in a body the size of Earth. Physicists say that whole galaxies are rushing towards each other and presumably colliding in a terrible shit-storm to become flies on the black hole's windshield. The truth is stranger.

The black hole's density increases linearly towards the its center. The center is a vertex of infinite density, and since infinite density compresses space infinitely, dimensional space does not exist at the vertex. The galaxies are not colliding at all. The space between the galaxies is being compressed, until the objects arrive at the vertex and are propelled through it into a parallel universe. Suppose the Earth went through a black hole. We might never notice. Our shit would be shrinking as our space was compressed, but how would we know? Our rulers would be shrinking too (no pun intended).

Imagine I have a tiny, tiny speck of a black hole in a paint jar, and that the paint jar somehow contains the black hole. The speck weighs more than the sun, but somehow the paint jar isolates it and I can carry the black hole around in my pocket. I might only have to remove the lid of the jar for a billionth of a second to squirt myself out of the universe like a grapefruit seed! This is how UFOs travel.

The discovery that UFOs are actually from Earth explains a variety of mysteries. Why have the UFOs been known to every human society throughout history? Because they've always been here! Why do they come to Earth when they have the whole universe to explore? Because they live here! Why are they being sighted more and more frequently, in increasingly violent episodes, particularly near the sites of weapons of mass destruction? Because this is their planet too and they don't like the way we're treating it! This last point is especially interesting. Nuclear explosions have an unpleasant effect on the Earth in many more dimensions than our own. We are blowing huge fucking holes in someone else's back yard, and they don't like it. Our nuclear experiments seem crude and very dangerous to them, like a small child with a chemistry set. The recent sightings in Brazil suggest that our neighbors are preparing to take more aggressive action to contain us.

Interestingly, pastor Val has seen UFOs hanging around new age crystal shows. Why would UFOs be interested in crystals? The so-called "occult" forces are multidimensional influences. Crystals and other riches of the Earth are powerful and desirable in all universes. Good for you, good for them. Bad for them, BAD FOR YOU!

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