Church of Euthanasia

The One Commandment:
"Thou shalt not procreate"

The Four Pillars:
suicide · abortion
cannibalism · sodomy

Human Population:

Snuff It #4



About a month ago, three British alleged neo-Nazi kids who had been vacationing in America for six weeks blew their brains out--two of them simultaneously at an Arizona gun range, the other one the next day on a little-traveled Northern California road.

The woman who shot herself alone--Jane Greenhow, 22--had called our voice mail a few days before killing herself, asking to verify our PO box address. I ignored the first call, but responded the next day after she left a similar message with the admonition "don't bother calling after tomorrow." She sounded intensely depressed, but all she wanted to know was whether our PO box was still valid. I told her that it was.

On March 4--a full two weeks after she killed herself--I finally received her letter, which stated that she felt unable to articulate her frustration with life. She also sent me three $700 money orders--her life's savings. Knowing that with my recent luck I'd be struck by lightning if I spent a penny of it, I sent the money back to her parents.

Jane had a degree in astrophysics and read ANSWER Me! Too bad she fit into the 1/10th of 1 percent demographic which actually had value in my book. Whereas the great bulk of human suffering doesn't do a thing for me, her departure actually saddened me greatly.

You can imagine how the press--especially the vampiric British press--is treating these suicides. DID A PORTLAND PUBLICATION 'GOAD' THREE BRITS INTO KILLING THEMSELVES? et al. Typically, the ones who would portray me as some unfeeling creep have displayed far less remorse over Jane's death than I have. I figure the Nazi affiliation (Jane had left a note signed "Mrs. Hitler" next to her body) renders these goofy kids nonhuman in some eyes.

Anyway, I wanted to gently caution you to be careful regarding your publishing endeavors. You and I know that depression and suicidal impulses betoken a mental condition which can't be neatly traced to (or blamed on) one source. However, in a social climate which tends to abdicate any notion of personal responsibility, very few others seem to know this. Since I see value in what you're doing, I'd hate to see you become embroiled in the sort of controversy/lawsuits which have dogged us for the past couple years. Believe me, it's nowhere near as fun as it might seem. And I'm not advising that you soften your approach--but it might make sense to lay the disclaimers on a little thicker.

-Jim Goad,

I make my money from the Defense Department. Usually I feel embarrassed to tell people because they associate Warfare with the inhumanity of killing people, but I can tell you with pride. Since reading your publication I have a whole new perspective on my career. The only problem is the U.S. usually kills third world people who don't consume as much of the world's resources as first world people. Also the Defense Dept. is the top worst polluter. I hope to offset that by sending you a contribution each month so you can continue your good work.

P.S. I think Rev. Korda may be the 1st 21st century saint. Please document any miracles (preferably with video) so the canonization will go smoothly.

P.P.S. Typed on a Defense Dept. typewriter.

[not signed]

Rev. Chris:

I received the latest SNUFF IT, and i must state that i was again impressed. I have always known that breeding was not at all for me, and although i have only recently pursued such a philosophy (after discovering the definition of what had before only been within me a vague but relatively eternally-practiced concept), it is one to which i shall forever adhere. That there are other folk out there who not only believe related philosophies and ethics but advocate them and still enjoy life, is nice to know.

Cheers, Rev. Randall Tin-ear

I work as a secretary during the day with the Passaic Board of Education at the High School in the MediaCenter and see the awful results of human overbreeding every day. Our school enrollment has increased about 750 kids each year in the past three years. The Board is having to lease new buildings every year and build additions on existing schools to compensate for the overcrowding. I live in a building where the apartments are very small and yet my fellow tenants insist on overbreeding and providing shelter to their young ones in a space that only one would be comfortable in. Needless to say the problem of overbreeding is all around me daily but how do you speak up about it? Procreation is the most sacred of rights and if you talk about it to people (even intelligently) they think you are a Nazi or something worse. Why do only a few of us see what is wrong? Why are so many fools still bringing children into the world? I have a full life and never had any children--what is this compulsion to breed?

-Moo Oom, David R. Wyder/Daily Cow

You can count on me to help you in any way I can. If abortion were mandatory it would prevent people like me from ever being born. I once considered having kids but when I realized they might all turn out to look like me (I look like Herve Vilachez), I immediately had my doctor castrate me. I'd kill myself but I'm too chicken shit. I just bought a new Harley and I'm hoping I'll have an unfortunate accident while riding it. As it is, my feet barely touch the ground when I sit on it and I can barely reach the handle bars. Let's hope I cross paths with a pyschotic truck driver! Keep up the good work!

-Marc (Herve) Bifano

Beyond a critical point within a finite space, freedom diminishes as numbers increase. This is as true of humans in the finite space of a planetary ecosystem as it is of gas molecules in a sealed flask. The human question is not how many can possibly survive within the system, but what kind of existence is possible for those who do survive.

-Pardot Kynes, First Planetologist of Arrakis

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